The days are long, the weeks not quite as long, but the months are short.

I am surprised at how fast 3 months have gone by. I am 25% percent done my last year. Poof. Gone.

As I countdown to the day I hand in my lightsaber and officially resign, I wonder if I am torturing myself. By marking the passage of time, it seems like the bad days take forever. Those days are just excruciating. I can almost feel the water drops hitting me in the forehead.

Sometimes I question why I am doing this. Why did I extend? Why sign up for another lap around the Death Star?

But then the logic kicks in and says it is the right thing to do. Get myself and Padme across the finish line. Then the world is wide open to change.

The Next Chapter

It has come up again for me lately that retirement is the next chapter in life. That the story has been interesting up to date, but there is a major plot twist coming up. An inflection to take the book in a different direction.

Change is scary, I will not lie.

Because I am now the one responsible. I drive my day-to-day. I make the plans. It somehow feels like I am losing almost a father figure by retiring. A career gives you guidance. The career is telling me what to do every day. That I don’t have to think of what to do. That I am not accountable today. That someone else has written the book for me to follow up to now.

Leaving work feels like graduating from school for the last time. That it is time to be an adult who makes his own path.

The next chapter. That is mine to write. That is unbroken ground. That is new.

And as scary as it seems, I always remind myself: If not now, then when? It happens to all of us. The difference is I am choosing when. The feeling is the same if it’s today or if it’s in ten years. Either way, it is a massive change. Either way, it is up to me to take control and make it good.

There are days when I wake up or go out for a morning walk where I pretend I am retired. I ask myself: What am I going to do today?

There is no answer. There is. No. Answer.

Because I don’t know. Because I have not taken control. Scary as hell.

I have more and more appetite for how others have turned that last page and made a new life. I can’t get enough of podcasts or blogs on it. I am rereading old favorites. I am consuming content for reassurance. Looking for the answer. Looking for the lifeline. Looking for someone to lead me.

There is no answer.

And the answer is not in consuming more. It’s actually in less. The blogs and podcasts are examples, but the answer is within. It’s me taking control and moving forward. It’s breaking the inertia of just waiting for it. It’s doing.

All the ones who have gone before who write or talk about retiring some day fade away from putting out new material. They figure out their own next chapter. Their next life. And they stop focusing on showing us the path. That is because they are living their path. They no longer are analyzing it or thinking about it. They have gotten over the last high hurdle.

The people who cross the retirement line stop talking about the map because they’re busy exploring the terrain. So they don’t need to record it. They no longer have the time and, in most cases, the desire to light it for the rest of us. Writing or talking about it just does not matter once they find their next calling.

I applaud those who have found their next thing.

I am not ready. But I am ready.

Nine months will go by in a blink even though days feel long. Three months are gone since I made this leap of one more year. Buckle up, change is coming.

With that, let’s pull up my old checklist to see how I am getting ready.

Pre-Flight Readiness Checklist

1. Spouse (Mission Control) on board with changing work – Grade: B+
   • My hard date is established. Padme knows it, my friends know it, my executive friend at work knows it, and I have even hinted to my boss.
   • I toyed with going to 4 days a week. Not going to happen with a new hostile boss.
   • The only reason this is not an A is that I want to know not just my plans, but what Padme’s day is. We know when she can retire, but she has not picked ano hard date. I suspect she will struggle with that
2. Physical Fitness (Engines) – Grade: F
   • Just has not happened for a while now. It’s like I keep delaying it to when I am off. Not good and not pulled to do it. The mental gymnastics of my OMY (One More Year) have not helped my physical energy levels.
3. Hobbies (Writing) – Grade: C
   • The writing has slowed down. It has been a while since it has really flowed easily
4. Hobbies 2 (Anything else) – Grade: F
   • No change.
5. Social Life – Grade: C
   • Seen lots of people over the summer/fall. It seems like we have been going almost non-stop in the last 4 months of seeing people we don’t typically see. It has been nice, but somehow it is not filling the void I thought it would.
6. Health – Grade: B
   • Stopped physio on the knee. Until I commit to exercise, it seems like a waste as the knee typically doesn’t bother me day-to-day unless I exercise.
   • Mentally, I’ve got to say I am feeling like an alien at times with my friends. It’s like we are from two different worlds with me focused on retiring and them just going on day-to-day life. The problem is me — not them. I have become a one-trick boring pony.
7. Stop Social Media Habit – Grade: F
   • Finished another book — The Pathless Path. Good, but no surprises in it.
   • Still rabbit-holing on the internet for no reason.
8. Proactive Plans with Kids – Grade: C
   • Nothing new.
9. Money – Grade: B+
   • The market for how I have invested has turned in the last 2 months. Everything I own is on the positive side and getting me further down the path than I would have thought at this point.
   • My allocation to my plan is getting better. Slowly adding to what I own.
   • Need to shift around Padme’s investments around when she retires — until then, we are good.

Overall Grade – B-

Overall some of the big blocks have improved to get to retirement.  The blocks focused post retirement not so much.  It is time.  Make it so

I could be doing worse