Last year, I attended my very first Financial Independence (FI) event: EconoMe in Cincinnati. It’s a conference that brings together five hundred FIRE people, money nerds, and those interested in living a little differently.

As it is coming up again this year, I reflected back on what I was looking for  last year and what I got from it. For me I went so I could stop, think about my path, and actually talk about the big things I was wrestling with: Work. Retirement. Life. To give me courage to retire when the time comes.

We are all on this life journey, but how often do we stop to truly reflect upon it? At a conference like EconoMe, it felt different to have these conversations compared to having the same talk with people in my normal day-to-day routine. I honestly did not know what to expect. I didn’t know what I was looking for. It is intimidating going to your first FI event on your own, let alone one with 500 people. As a self-confessed wallflower in a big crowd, I felt that familiar social friction as I walked in.

I knew I need to find my “tribe” in retirement. In one way, this was a test to see if I fit in with “FI people” and if I could actually enjoy these get-togethers, or if I’d just be the guy standing in the corner checking his watch.

The Anatomy of the Experience

The conference was not what I expected—in the best way possible. Looking back on it, the experience seemed to be well structured in thirds, each serving a different part of the human experience.

The First Third: The Connection The first portion was all about the people. There was an incredible amount of space and time to actually meet. Through brewpub nights, a city tour, “speed friendshipping,” and the fact that we were all concentrated in two main hotels. The opportunities to connect were everywhere. Of the 500 people attending, I talked to at least 100 of them.

I’ll admit, I “fanboyed” out a bit. Meeting bloggers and podcasters I’ve followed for years was a surreal experience, but what struck me was how accessible they were. Everyone was great. There was no “wallflowering” because the environment simply didn’t allow for it. You weren’t a stranger; you were a peer.

The Second Third: The Inspiration The main stage presentations came across like TED talks. I expected big money talk, complex finance strategies, and deep dives into the 4% rule. Instead, there was very little of that. My favorites were the “Life” talks. I heard from a teacher who gets his kids to write books. I listened to a couple who gamified food waste to see how little they could throw out in a year. We talked about what we get wrong in retirement. These talks were highly entertaining, but more importantly, they got me thinking in ways I never had.

The Last Third: The Logistics Finally, there were the breakouts—the “nuts and bolts” of money talk. But even these leaned heavily into how to live post-FI. My favorite was Frank Vasquez. He wasn’t telling us how to save more; he was pushing people to spend their money. To enjoy life. He was the voice of reason, convincing us that if we were in that room, following this space, we already have enough.

The Magic of “Social Oxygen”

After the conference, I tried to put my finger on why it was so easy to be there. We all go through our ups and downs, but along the way, it is amazing when we meet other people who are in a similar spot. To relate to them. To feel comfort. To share. That is what EconoMe was for me: a place to open up with little to no filters.

At the conference, we start as strangers, but we like each other without even knowing each other. Why? Because we all made a similar choice in life. We have the same interests and related goals. There is a specific kind of “social oxygen” that exists only when you’re in a room where you don’t have to explain your “why.”

It makes it easy to walk up to anyone. You no longer make space and walk around people; you look at them, smile, and truly want to get to know them. When commonality is a given, the physical and emotional barriers we usually carry simply become unimportant. This is what makes it easy to be human.

In some cases, the connection is only for a minute or two. In others, it’s a shortcut to intimacy. You find out very quickly that this stranger next to you is basically a version of you. Like looking in a mirror—but this mirror only reflects back the good in you. You skip the small talk and dive straight into the “good stuff” because the foundation of trust is already built on shared values.

The Lesson at the Hotel Bar

Whether it’s the FIRE community or any other niche group, the magic isn’t in the content; it’s the relief of dropping the mask. In the “real world,” being a “money nerd” or a “stormtrooper” for a specific cause can feel isolating. But at EconoMe, your “weird” becomes the “standard.”

To show you how deep this goes, I have to tell you about Emma. We were at the hotel bar, which was packed with nearly 100 of us. Every night was a mix of board games, finance talk, and life conversations. It was loud, as any full bar is, and I was just enjoying the energy.

Emma, a 23-year-old Certified Financial Planner, was sitting next to me. We weren’t talking about anything particularly deep—just chatting. Suddenly, she stopped the conversation. She told me she spends most of her days with people in their 60s and 70s, and she noticed that I was acting the same way they do—the way I was moving my head to follow the conversation in the loud room.

“You’ve lost some hearing,” she said. “Get it checked. It can contribute to dementia.”

In any other context, that might have felt intrusive. But there, it was an act of care. A week after I got home, I went for a test. I now have hearing aids. It wasn’t something I wanted, but it was something I needed for the long-term quality of the life I’m working so hard to build. 

Thank you, Emma.

Finding Your Tribe

These gatherings act as a battery recharge. It’s no different than a place where people all have the same interest; like a Scout Jamboree or a writer’s camp. It’s a reflection of your passion, so it’s really a reflection of you.

To Lisa, Michael, Coady, Amy, Ryan, Andrew, Dennis, Emma, and the dozens of others I spent my time with: Thank you. I loved every second of learning your stories and sharing mine. You made my world a better place for four uninterrupted days.

Find your tribe. Find your stormtroopers. You will come alive. 

See you in March At Econome. I can’t wait to catch up this year and hear some new stories.

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