This is Part 2 of the Vader’s Laws of eMotion series. In my first article, (Vader’s First Law of eMotion for Retirement), I talked about Inertia—how a retiree at rest (on the couch, in a routine, or in a mood) tends to stay at rest. But once we realize we are stuck, the next logical question is: How much effort does it take to get moving again?

Before we  answer that, lets look at Newton’s Second Law. It has been a long time since science class, but the principle is simple: when a force acts on an object, it causes it to move or “accelerate”. The larger the mass of the object, the greater the force needs to be to move it. For us science people, this is expressed as:

F = m * a

(Force = Mass x  Acceleration)

In common-sense language, this means the heavier an object is, the more “oomph” you need to budge it. I can’t pick up a car because it is too heavy; I simply don’t have the physical force to overcome its mass.

I’ve realized the same physics can be applied to my emotional state. If the First Law is about starting the motion, the Second Law is about the size of the obstacle.

The Weight of the “Funk”

When I am just a little annoyed—maybe with a colleague or one of my little Jedis—the “Emotional Mass” is low. It’s like a pebble. It doesn’t take much “Force” to change how I feel. A good conversation, a bad dad joke, or ticking a small task off my to-do list provides enough Force to flick that pebble away and change the trajectory of my mood, my emotions.

But then there is the “Sunk in the Funk” state. This is the “little d” depression or the “Dark Side” I mentioned in Law #1. This type of mood has serious mass. It’s a 10-ton boulder that has been sitting in the same spot for days. When you are in this state, a small joke just deflects off you. People avoid you. A quick walk around the block won’t change your mood because the Force of the walk isn’t proportional to the Mass of the funk. This is where the 2nd law comes in

Vader’s Second Law of eMotion: The Law of Emotional Mass states:

The “Force” required to change your mood is directly proportional to the “Mass” or size of the funk you are in.

This 2nd law of eMotion turns something that feels like a personal failure—not being able to “snap out of it”—into a simple matter of emotional physics.  

The Lesson: Stop Nudging Boulders

In retirement, without the “External Force” of a 40-hour workweek to keep us grinding along, our funks can accumulate mass quickly. If you’ve been “a lump” for a week, don’t get frustrated when a five-minute habit doesn’t instantly fix your life. You are dealing with high Emotional Mass.

To get that boulder rolling, you have to stop “nudging” and start applying serious Force. You need a total change of scenery, a big social commitment, or a project that actually challenges your brain. You can’t move a 10-ton boulder with a “positive thought.” It requires a massive amount of external force to get it to budge even an inch.

High-Speed Momentum

This law isn’t just for the dark times. It works when you’re winning, too. In the First Law, I mentioned that once you are in motion, you stay in motion. The Second Law adds that when you are having the time of your life—feeling great and on top of the world—you are traveling at a high velocity.

When you have that much momentum, small annoyances (low-mass pebbles) don’t make a difference. A small headwind isn’t going to stop a Star Destroyer at full throttle.

Summary

If you find yourself stuck, don’t just ask if you are applying force—ask if the force matches the mass, or the size of the emotional state you are in.  Is the effort you are putting in big enough to  lift the size of the mood you’re in? If your mood is as heavy as that car are you finding you emotional tow truck to move it?  

Without the level of effort to match how big your emotional state is you will not change your mood. A big downturn needs a big intervention. Sometimes professional if it gets big enough.

In the end, I would ask that we just give ourselves grace.  Emotional physics is tough. Science was a long time ago.

Start with small rocks and work your way up.