Difficult to See: Always in Motion is the Future

These last few weeks I have been more reflective than normal. It’s not only related to what Padme is going through in her career, or my own “will he or won’t he” retirement thoughts, but more on life in general.

I have just passed my anniversary of being laid off at my old Death Star. I have been looking back on the changes since.

For me personally, from a career perspective, I would not have imagined my life of the last year if you had asked me too. Last year I was miserable at work, bored, and wondering where I should go in life. I was passively looking for another job and just felt generally stuck in life.

Twelve months later I am sitting here at this new death star, a lot closer to retirement and the next chapter of my life. The next big transition in life for me. I sit back often and think more about the future than I typically do.

It’s not all about me, as my family are all at an age where they are also close to their own major transition points.

My oldest JEDI is about a year out from picking what he wants to study at college or university. He has to make the important decision of choosing a path, and I really don’t know how we ask a 17-year-old what they want to do with their life. It’s an inflection point that likely is not as important as it seems to be in the moment. But what he decides is potentially a path to him living elsewhere. He spent half this summer living away from home for the first time; his path to adulthood is not long. I am going to miss him, but I am excited to see him build and, more importantly, enjoy life.

My youngest is in high school with roughly three years to go before he is in the same boat. The “little kid” has disappeared, as he now looks me in the eye at 6’5”. He is Chewbacca to my Vader—a gentle giant doing well in school. He has a good heart, and it will be interesting to watch his path unfold. I have two good kids. I am lucky and proud.

no you can’t drive the Death Star

Padme, for the first time in her career, is seeing an end—or at least the next chapter post-her current job. I had never seen this before these last two months. I would have bet she would stay where she is for a few more years, but she is struggling with where her workplace has gone in the last two years and is starting to focus on herself versus her work. This is a good thing. Work has become all-encompassing for her since the pandemic, and I could never do what she does. She needs to retrench and discover more of life outside the office. She has typically worked hard and played hard, but there are just not enough hours in the day anymore.

And Vader? Well, Vader has never been this close to the end of his current career. It is close enough to be real. I am actively looking at closing this chapter in 5 to 17 months. My work is fine and I am paid well, but there is no passion in it for me. I am here for the pay and little else. I need to use the time better than I have to transition to retirement, and that will be the focus this year.

There is no consideration to go beyond 17 months. For some reason, it is easy to see my 55th birthday as the end with no exception. Maybe it’s because of the circle I hang out with, where everyone retires around 55, or maybe those “Freedom 55” commercials from back in the day stuck with me. Either way, 55 is the end stake in the current adventure. The only question is if it’s sooner, not later.

The changes I need to make in life are known to me. It’s just about putting the system in place to do it once and for all by committing to a different life. Ironically, this blog is one aspect of it and I am enjoying it. Thank you for finding my little space. Now it’s the other parts of life I need to spend hours on per day.

Finances I have always put way too high on my priorities, but it is the tool that allows for the jumping-off point. It’s a little murky looking forward with Padme potentially jumping sooner than I had thought, but we have a large enough cushion that we can likely work around it. It adds more risk, but not too much. Our nest egg grew more in the last year than it ever has; in the last three years, it has grown almost 50%. It gives us choices. It can make up for any reduced pension. We are fortunate. We are blessed.

Padme’s pension grows every year she works, and with around 28 years of service, the golden handcuffs are real. But they aren’t worth grinding out for much longer. It’s just a question of when, not if, she needs to leave for her own health.

In the end, our latest “magic number” will be crossed in six months almost regardless of what we do. That still boggles my mind—that it is this close.

For now, my “T-minus” retirement checklist is off the launch pad as we work through Padme’s own checklist. But my retirement rocket is not far behind.