I don’t often sit back and genuinely feel content, where I actually notice it. There is no future, no past, just contentment in the moment.

People always have a soundtrack playing in their minds: the to-do list, work stress, “what if X happens,” “what are people thinking of me,” “what do I have to do later,” “do these pants make me look fat”—pick your song, it is on.

This internal noise constantly distracts us from the now. It’s constantly on repeat. It’s a low-grade hum of anxiety that keeps us tense and our thoughts fixed anywhere but here.

This soundtrack constantly distracts from the now. Even when you are present, there is a judgment of the moment or thoughts of some future issues. So, for me, the feeling of contentment seems rare and fleeting.

Part of chasing retirement is to put this soundtrack away. We think that being retired will make us content.  I hope it does but I suspect or worry that it won’t.  For me I think contentment is being satisfied “in” the moment.  Being in the moment is the tough part for me.

For me the Oscar Wilde quote comes close 

True contentment is not having everything, but in being satisfied with everything you have 

I would add to it satisfied with everything in the moment.  

I found myself just being content a couple of times this weekend. Nothing special was going on. I was simply outside in the sun, taking a moment. I honestly can’t tell you how I got there. I know where I was, but I have no idea why the feeling came on. A big part of it was having the internal soundtrack on  pause.

It felt good.

A week later, it happened again. I’m starting to wonder what is going on.

My in-laws were down, and we were doing what we usually do: playing card games as a family—my kids, Padme , and her parents. Slightly relaxed after a beer or two, I sat back to take in the moment.

The kids were enjoying teasing their grandparents, and the grandparents were teasing them back. Everyone was engaged and happy. I started to reflect on how important and how rare these times are. As grandparents get older, they travel less. As we get busier, we have less time to visit. As the kids get older, they become more and more involved with their own lives.

It won’t be many years until this type of lazy afternoon won’t happen anymore.

It reminds me of the “Wait But Why” article on The Tail End (https://waitbutwhy.com/2015/12/the-tail-end.html).

The premise of the article is that we don’t realize how few times are left to do exactly what we were doing this weekend. 

How many times a year do we have this type of day with kids and grandparents?  It happens two, maybe three times a year.  How many more years will we have this?  Five, maybe six?  How many times will I  truly be in the moment to appreciate it?  In the not-too-distant future, the little JEDIs will be leaving for university. On the other hand, grandparents not far from 80 could become sick any day. 

So, these thoughts were in the back of my mind. It made me sit and enjoy the moment, to be present, to take it in. And again, I was content.

It wasn’t a planned moment. These moments likely can’t be. But in hindsight, we need to put in place the opportunities to have as many of these as we can in the next few years, before the chance to have them escapes us. We must not take them for granted.

This is another reason to carve out more time—to make space for these moments while we can, and to better utilize the time we have.  I hope retirement will bring many more of these moments. But right now I am not worried about that.  Right now I am content 

I hope you are content and with family this week. Sit back. Hit the pause button on your internal soundtrack. Look around. Take it in. Enjoy.

Happy Thanksgiving to my American friends. For the classic Thanksgiving scene depicted in my first picture click The Infamous WKRP Thanksgiving Turkey Drop (1978) – YouTube