Imposter syndrome.  Self Confidence issues.  Fear of Change.  Self Destructive Behaviors. We all suffer with our self beliefs. We have doubts about who we are and what we can do.  It is  second nature for everyone.  

These doubting beliefs and how strong they are shape your life.  A favorite quote from Henry Ford is the best way to state this.

”Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you are right” – Henry Ford 

A more modern, perhaps stolen, version of Ford’s wisdom comes from a certain Jedi master:: 

“Do or Do Not there is no try”.   – Yoda 

Pretty sure Henry did not get credit for this movie scene.

In The Empire Strikes Back, Luke could lift the rock using the Force, but struggles to lift the X-wing (the Jedi fighter jet) not because of a lack of power, but because of a lack of belief. Even the most confident people you know wrestle with self-confidence issues. Padme (my wife), is a perfect example. She’s a senior executive at a 2,000-person company, yet her Imposter Syndrome is strong.

I share similar self-doubts, not just at work, but in other parts of my life.  It is especially strong in crowds. For me, it centers on social interactions and trying to fit in—a tough belief to hold when you’re 6’6” and feel the “Imperial March” sound track strike up when you enter a room.

If highly successful career people still suffer these issues, it’s safe to say most people experience bouts of self-doubt. And it’s surprising because these are the very beliefs that get in the way of success—they simply don’t serve us.

The Call to Action

I have a confession: I used to read a lot of self-help books. While they all contain a “nugget of info,” they don’t help unless they prompt you to take action. That’s why it’s called “self-help”—it’s up to the reader.

However, once or twice, a specific book truly worked for me. A stint reading Tony Robbins actually led to the best decision in my career. His books, Unlimited Power and Awaken the Giant Within, were particularly impactful to me.

The most successful times in my career were when I felt the best about myself—when I had the most belief and the most self-confidence. At a pivotal moment, Robbins’ work charged up my Self-Belief to a point where I took drastic action and tackled the overall direction of my life. I stopped just “lifting the rock” and finally lifted the X-wing.

Recently, the universe has put some Tony Robbins writing in front of me again. Perhaps it’s a sign that I need to relearn it. What’s the old quote? “When the student is ready, the master will appear.”

Robbins’ Three Keys to Change

Tony’s core message can be boiled down to three key actions:

1. Change Your State

This means getting charged up and energized. Move. Get your body feeling good. Fake a high-energy state, and your mind will follow. If your body is energized, your mind will be energized.

Why is this the goal? Because high energy leads to the potential for change; low energy does not. Have you ever listened to a depressed individual and come away convinced of anything? Think Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. An energized state defeats the “dark side” and aligns you for action. It leads to the next step.

2. Change Your Beliefs

We all have an internal mental soundtrack playing constantly. Typically, it’s the “B-side” of the album, repeating negative feelings and limiting beliefs. These beliefs likely have an evolutionary purpose—to help you know your physical limits so you don’t play in traffic.

But mentally, these beliefs stop you from doing the great things you are capable of. The only way to change them is to get charged up and drown them out with the “A-side”—all the good things you have done and can do. You have to consciously believe in yourself.

I’ve done this in the past, but it needs constant attention. The positive beliefs need care and feeding, or the B-side turns the volume back up. Once you are in a positive state, move to strategy.

Lets hope it’s on Side A

3. Change Your Strategy

If you are in an energized state and have positive beliefs about what you can do, you’re ready to make a lasting change by addressing your strategy. These positive, empowering beliefs are the key to making leaps forward in life—less of a “funeral march” soundtrack and more of a “We Will Rock You.”

This positive “Life Force” is a rare state for most people. When you get into this state, embrace it and make big changes. Do what you want because fear is now in the backseat. It’s not gone forever, but it’s no longer in charge. This is the time to make those key decisions you’ve been avoiding and try new things. You are the master of your destiny.

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My X-Wing Moment

Back in my late 20s, I did exactly this. Charged up by one of Tony’s books, I took two months to write my own business plan. I drove eight hours to pitch my plan to a potential key partner—a supplier to my current company with whom I had a good relationship. I had the plan, the confidence, and the key meeting.

What happened?

The supplier turned me down cold. Five minutes into the meeting.

What did I do?

I drove back eight hours that day and quit my job anyway. I was in the right state of mind. It was time to make a leap, regardless of the meeting’s outcome. I was ready to grow into something new.

And it worked out. Better than planned, in a totally unrelated new business that I started. I told the universe I was ready for something big, and it provided, even if it wasn’t what I expected. That decision set up the rest of my career, including a move that led to meeting Padme. Win-Win.

It shows you that belief in yourself and the right state of mind is a force of nature. It’s tough to get into that state, but the question remains: If you had no fear of failure, what would you do?

A recent Tony Robbins quote that appeared in my social media feed hit me:

“There is a part of you that will always be fearful—just don’t let it be in charge.”

Without fear, I would retire tomorrow and look for that Unlimited Power state again. Maybe not in a new career, but in life—in living life.

Retire or Retire Not. Time to get charged up.